Do you ever feel blah? Just going along with life, wondering what is "it?" What will make life something more significant? Will God "call" me to do something dynamic, or am I destined to be just another life lived in blah? I really want to contribute something. It's been awesome to have people tell me that they appreciate me and feel encouraged by something I wrote, did or said, or even my smile. That in itself is great and warms my heart. Am I ever going to do or be someone where I am just exasperated and wonder at something which comes out of me that is truly magnificent, though?
A woman I met last year invited me to visit a writers' group. I went, and felt like a humbled sponge. Everything that was said I ate right up. The speakers were great! The camaraderie was moving. Then, when I thought of me, and how I haven't even finished writing anything but a few children's stories, some songs, poems, prose, and articles, I didn't think I belonged there. So one day, sitting at a coffee shop, listening to these wonderful, generous women who have adult fiction books published - which I, for some reason, consider more validly the definition of a writer - I felt like God wasn't quite calling me to be an official member of the group because of what I have done as a semi-writer, as if there is some hierarchy in this label. Guiltily, I accepted a box filled with resources to help one improve as a writer
Finally, today I just picked up a few cassettes and settled on Barbara Curtis's "Guaranteed Ways to Publish 50-100 Articles a Year," from a conference held in April of 2003. *Side-note: I had to think just now a bit about how the cassette player functioned. I paused, thinking I would lose my place..Oh yah!! Cassettes stop in place so I don't have to find my place again if I take the tape out to see the exact title, etc.* And yes, I had to go out and buy a boom box with a cassette player since I gave up on replacing them years ago, after my kiddos destroyed a couple. Do all kids think everything, related to money, grows on trees? Dare I say that God was the one working in the selection of the cassette tape? One tidbit of advice Ms. Curtis gave caused my heart to pound. The advice was to begin gathering information now, even if I don't know what God will "call" me to do later. That reminds me of Dr. Maria Montessori's life. Back in her day and country, women weren't supposed to have careers, but she really wanted to be a doctor, against her father's wishes. She did it anyway obviously, being the first woman in Italy to become a doctor. But then she had some twists and turns in her life that brought her back to a more feminine role - caring for young children, in an extraordinary way. So now I'm feeling pretty encouraged and inspired.
This reminds me of the whole concept that can sound like, "When I get married
1 Samuel 30:6
David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God."
**King James version says, "
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
1 Corinthians 1:9
God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
Galatians 1:6 & 7
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different Gospel - which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Ephesians 4:1 - 3
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.