Surrender

Waking from anesthesia, a sense of relief spread through my broken body. My surgeon explained the limitations very clearly, but what is life without the ability to bend, lift and twist? Who knew that having a bad reaction to anesthesia meant vomiting constantly, and when vomiting, most civilized and uncivilized folks bend over. Ah, and there is the word “bend.” So when we take that out of the equation, that changes things. So on top of rejoicing because I made it through the surgery, I needed to re-learn pretty much all the processes I used constantly, which included the bending, lifting and twisting.

A week later, a visit to the emergency room turned into some time in ICU due to a pulmonary embolism. The woman I had become, who tried to line up everything in life in a way that made sense, suddenly was thrust before her Maker begging for her life, having to let go of the things held dear and face the possibility of leaving a mess behind. Though it is in my nature to negotiate and panic when things are going awry, the Holy Spirit most certainly was working in me and gave me a peace I had not known before, with no urges to bargain. This situation forced me to surrender everything, including this body, and hang on to the one thing that matters - God wants us to come to Him through Jesus Christ to enjoy and share the amazing love He has for us. Trust God and love others, the rest works out.